Boat Names: The Ugly Truth

B Frank answers your questions

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Dear B. Frank,

What’s the truth about boat naming and renaming? I was thinking of renaming the sailboat I just bought, but I’ve read I could end up with seven years of bad luck. I was planning to name my boat Cynthia after my wife, but my buddy Donnie says I should name it something cool like Wet Dream, Makin’ Luff or Sexual Heeling.

I trust Donnie’s opinion because he’s owned loads of boats—and jet skis—but I don’t want to end up regretting my decision.  

Sincerely,
Nameless in Fresno

Dear Nameless,

Legend and opinion heel away from changing a boat’s name, unless the poor vessel's name is Wet Dream or some such, in which case mercy and decorum demand it. Now, your friend Donnie may be a Man among Men—his boat names suggest that he thinks so—but, considering he has owned jet skis (probably named Quickie), I question his counsel. In some households, following his advice would result in you becoming a live-aboard, regardless of the boat’s size.

If marital longevity is important, and if Cynthia likes the boat, name it after her. Be sure of that point, though, or you will sail into dangerous waters. Imagine a beamy hull, or one with lines she doesn't like, with her name on its substantial transom...”You named that ugly tub after me?” In such straits, even the Coast Guard cannot help you.

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Readers: What are some of best and worst boat names you’ve owned or seen? Share in the comments below. —Eds